


it’s hard to be the one who survives

by emrys (livingshitpost)



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Brothers, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 Lives, Catharsis, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Guilt, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kinfic, Love, Major Character Injury, Men Crying, Nightmares, No Incest, Permanent Injury, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Survivor Guilt, listen i jst . have some Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22954735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys
Summary: Fives tries to manage the guilt that comes with his brother’s return.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555
Comments: 8
Kudos: 135





	it’s hard to be the one who survives

Fives awoke in a cold sweat.

He flew to the side of his bunk, heaving and gasping for breath. His hand went to his chest; to the scar just inches from his heart. The thin material of his blacks rubbed against the glossy patch of skin as he pressed it with his fingers. He forced himself to be quiet as he slowed his breathing.

He rubbed his eyes. The display on the back wall glowed a soft green. 03:47. None of his brothers were still awake.

He sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He peeled off the top half of his blacks, cold and uncomfortably sticky, and draped the garment over the end of his bunk before climbing down.

Jesse shifted in his sleep as Fives opened the door. He tensed, watching his brother intently. His heart pounded in his chest.

“Fives?” Jesse’s voice was groggy with sleep. “What’re you doin’ up?”

“Refresher,” Fives said hurriedly.

“‘S the wrong way,” Jesse noted. “Goin’ off to check up on Echo, huh?”

Fives frowned, although he should have known he wouldn’t be able to lie convincingly on the spot. “Yeah. Go back to sleep.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

The walk down to the medbay was uneventful. Fives entered the code for the door without even looking at the keypad, and quietly crept into the dimly-lit room, filled with cots and equipment. He sat in the chair on Echo’s left side, but didn’t dare take his hand. He didn’t want to disturb him.

Echo’s breathing was slow. Rhythmic. A tube under his nose and behind his ear ensured that he got enough oxygen, and a drip in the bend of his right elbow supplied him with hydration and nutrients, both of which he’d been sorely lacking when he arrived. He moved a bit, his eyebrows knitting together, and adjusted the way his head rested on his pillow. He let out a single, weak grunt.

Fives instinctively took Echo’s cold hand with both of his own and held it tight. He bowed his head, holding the mess of fingers to his forehead.

“‘M sorry,” he murmured. “I had no idea . . . None of us did.” He sighed. “But I still feel like I should’ve done more. I should’ve saved you.” The pads of his thumbs rubbed over Echo’s bony fingers. “Should’ve been there.”

Echo’s breathing didn’t waver. Fives’ head bowed further, his grip tightening, as his shoulders shook.

“‘M sorry.” His voice was soft; so soft it almost couldn’t be heard. “I didn’t wanna leave you behind. I never- I never would’ve . . .”

Echo squeezed his hand back.

Fives sat up, chancing a look at his brother. His eyes were open. Dull brown and soft with concern.

Fives’ lower lip was trembling, and there were telltale wrinkles on his chin. The bags under his eyes had only grown darker since the mess on Umbara.

“I woke you up,” Fives muttered. He wiped at the tears spilling from his eyes. “Sorry.”

Echo smiled at his brother. “Don’t be.”

“You need your rest.” Fives started to stand, but Echo held his hand tighter.

“Don’t go,” he said. He forced a small smile. “I’ve had damn near enough of bein’ alone.”

Fives bit the inside of his lip. “Alright.” He sat down again, this time on the edge of the bed. “Okay.”

“Thanks.” Echo sat up slightly. The blanket fell away from his chest. His skin was stretched tight over his ribs, and Fives didn’t want to look, but couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“S-stay down.” The words left his lips before he could stop to think. “Save your strength.”

“I’ll be fine,” Echo assured him. “I’m not made of glass.”

“Kix said-“

“Since when do you listen to Kix?”

“Since you’re practically standing at the gates of Manda.” Fives bit his lips. “I don’t wanna lose you again.”

“Fives-“

“I couldn’t keep you safe at the Citadel,” he continued. “I couldn’t keep my promise. Couldn’t keep you alive.”

“Fives, I _chose_ to make a break for the shuttle.”

“I know. I know, Echo. I just . . .”

Echo reached out to touch the scar on Fives’ chest. Fives flinched at the chill of his fingertips, but looked down, placing one hand over his brother’s.

“We’ve both been through a lot,” Echo murmured. “It wasn’t either of our faults.”

“Still.”

Echo didn’t bother smiling. He didn’t bother asking. He pulled on Fives’ shoulder and brought him into a hug.

Fives’ grip was tight. He did his best not to crush Echo’s neck, though it was difficult with how badly his heart was aching in his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so karking sorry, Echo.” He wiped at his nose. “Stars, I just- I’m-“

“Hey,” Echo said softly. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not. It’s not fine.” Fives held his brother close. “We- we left you behind. We left you for dead. We didn’t know- we had no idea-“

“I know, vod. I know. It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I’m so sorry.” His voice broke, and tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “I’m so karking sorry.”

Echo hugged back fiercely. “I know. I know.”

Fives buried his face in the crook of Echo’s neck. “I’m sorry.” His voice was several octaves too high, and Echo could barely make out the words.

“You don’t need to be. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Fives sniffled. “I’m so sorry, vod,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

Echo held him there for a moment. “I’m sorry too.”

“Don’t-“

“No, listen. I was reckless. I was stupid. I jeopardized the mission, and I hurt you.” Echo sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Fives didn’t let go of his brother. “I never blamed you,” he murmured. “I just wanted you back.”

“Me too.” Echo laughed, still crying. “I’m just happy to be back. And that you’re still here.” He held Fives at arm’s length. “Figure we’re even, now?”

“Yeah.” Fives nodded. “Yeah, we’re even.” He wiped his eyes again. “Think I’m gonna stay here the rest of the night.”

“But Kix-“

“Hell with Kix. I can’t sleep anyway.”

Echo chuckled. He moved to the edge of the cot and turned on his side. It took some of the pain away from the way his spinal brace pinched his nerves. Fives laid down to face him and pulled the blanket up over both of their shoulders. It didn’t hold much heat, but Fives wrapped his arms around his brother and held his cold, thin frame close.


End file.
